Casual Negativity or Mindful Positivity

Casual Negativity or Mindful Positivity

A young friend introduced me to this simple group game last Saturday. We passed slips of paper around in a circle; one was marked with an L, and the rest with Ws. In this game, players don’t know what’s on their card. After the cards have gone once around the circle, everyone flips over their card. Whoever has the L loses the game.

It’s a fun game, simple to explain and play. But unfortunately L stands for Loser, and W stands for Winner. At the end of the game when they look at their cards and discover that they aren’t Loser, participants breathe a sigh of relief and immediately look to see who is. This poor person is labelled a Loser, and then made the centre of attention.  

When 8 year olds played it, some kids appeared OK with getting the L card, while others seemed upset. For many of us, that L simply reinforces a negative self-image.

It felt a little cruel. But it’s easy to make this game more positive—even affirming—in one easy step: Label most of the pieces of paper with something like a happy face, and label one with W for Winner. This way, the person singled out by pure fate (this game has no strategic component) can feel good about themselves and maybe as if they’re having a lucky day.

Simple details can positively affect us, making life gentler and more enjoyable.  


I'm a teacher and writer who aims to help others live fabulous, fulfilled lives.