“I’m not scared of public speaking, it’s doing it in front of people that terrifies me.” (One of my students) I teach public speaking and coach people on developing confidence. Public speaking is mostly about developing the confidence to stand in front of a group, which terrifies us because we’re biologically wired to run away …
Addictions are not easily healed. And this post doesn’t purport to provide that kind of advice. Here I’m talking about those milder bad habits that we don’t like, but can’t seem to get rid of, like overeating, endless scrolling, buying things you don’t really want, or staying up too late — activities that waste our …
“Get awed on a regular basis, so that getting awed is habitual and becomes a state of being.” Nick Cave Going through life with a sense of awe is a gift to yourself — and saves money. When you’re able to be stopped in your tracks by a beautiful blooming dandelion, you don’t need bigger, …
What would you do if you had more confidence? Imagine being able to improve your life, career… and maybe even the world. How, you ask? You don’t need superheroes or superpowers — just confidence. Confidence helps us: Learn and make positive changes Face challenges and create impact Improve our career, relationships and health (mental and …
I sometimes call myself a recovering perfectionist – deleting the desire to be perfect at everything. I’m no longer interested in best or perfect. They’re boring! Best and perfect have no life, no humanity, no room to grow. They are soullessly complete. I’ve heard that Japanese crafters create imperfections in their work to add interest …
I’m a shameful person. Literally full of shame. I’m ashamed of things I’ve done, things I haven’t done, and things I can’t do. I’m ashamed of my skinny hair, thoughts, and body. Ashamed that I’m not further ahead in my life. Ashamed that I’m not in better shape. And I’m ashamed of my writing that’s …
When I was young, getting old just seemed sad. My grandmother however, didn’t seem to mind. She was active and always glad to have her health. Awash in self-congratulatory youth, I saw her gratitude as, well, pathetic. So she’s healthy, big deal. There was so much else to life – wealth, fame, partying. She had …
You can have everything in the world but without gratitude you’ve got nothing.
Gardeners say if you plant enough flowers they’ll crowd out the weeds. I believe that happiness crowds out negativity and hate. Happiness stems from a sense of agency and abundance in our life—when we feel abundant and empowered, we’re likely to be happy. When we’re happy, we’re more likely to be generous with others. And …
Imagine you’re at the beach, enjoying a beautiful day. Something sparkles in the sand. You stoop to pick it up; it’s beach glass. Turning it over in your palm, admiring its soft, rough edges, you tell yourself stories about its journey, then tuck it away as a good luck charm. You keep walking. Another glint, …
You just gave the best performance ever. You were calm, confident and engaging. The audience loved you! But then you sit down. Flooded with adrenaline, your brain works quickly, evaluating your performance—your dreadful, awful performance. In high resolution, your brain replays the errors, the omissions, the failures. Moments ago you were proud, now you’re embarrassed. …
Have you ever wondered how to give strong, confident answers to unexpected questions? Speaking without preparation is called impromptu speaking. We do it in conversations, meetings and interviews. If you don’t know what to say, impromptu speaking can be scary, and an opportunity to embarrass yourself. But don’t panic! Just use the BRACE method to …
Most of us fear public speaking more than we fear death. Which is ironic because it’s an easy-to-learn skill that can greatly improve your life. Strong speaking skills will enhance your career, education and relationships — almost every aspect of your life. So why do many people never learn? Because they don’t know where to …
In my work I meet a lot of people in transit—people on their way to becoming the best version of themselves. Whether it’s a new career or advancing within one, my clients have goals. Now, you know and I know all the stuff about goals. They’ve gotta be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Agreed-upon, Realistic and Timebound). …
No, non, nada, nyet—how we say no in different languages. Nein is the German word for no. Nein sounds the same as the English word nine, which means one less than 10. According to researchers, nine is also the number of times kids expect to ask their parents for something before getting it. Nine. Can …
Most people fear public speaking but it’s surprisingly easy to learn. Follow these tips—and practice 10 times—and you’ll look and sound professional. Good luck! (Learn how to master your Shame Wave too.) 1. Know your audience. Who are you talking to? What do they need and want to know? What do they already know? 2. Accept that …
A young friend introduced me to this simple group game last Saturday. We passed slips of paper around in a circle; one was marked with an L, and the rest with Ws. In this game, players don’t know what’s on their card. After the cards have gone once around the circle, everyone flips over their …
Technology allows us to communicate faster, more frequently, and to a wider audience. But who’s listening? The more we communicate, the harder it is to listen well—to focus on one person and their words. This is where self-control comes in. Being able to pause yourself and focus on the speaker and improves your understanding but …
I was the wittiest teacher in town until that day. Mid-joke, I suddenly realized that my students laugh because I control their grades. Damn. I shut my mouth and got serious about my job. Which isn’t to say I’m solemn now—keeping things light helps learning, and personal anecdotes add depth to speeches. But my job is to …
Sometimes it seems that all teens do is communicate—text, social media, facetime. But when adults try to talk to teens, both sides often end up frustrated, annoyed or bewildered. How can we bridge this gap? First, Understand your Audience Consider what it is to be teenaged. Teens are in transition between childhood and adulthood. They …
