“I’m not scared of public speaking, it’s doing it in front of people that terrifies me.” (One of my students) I teach public speaking and coach people on developing confidence. Public speaking is mostly about developing the confidence to stand in front of a group, which terrifies us because we’re biologically wired to run away …
You just gave the best performance ever. You were calm, confident and engaging. The audience loved you! But then you sit down. Flooded with adrenaline, your brain works quickly, evaluating your performance—your dreadful, awful performance. In high resolution, your brain replays the errors, the omissions, the failures. Moments ago you were proud, now you’re embarrassed. …
Most of us fear public speaking more than we fear death. Which is ironic because it’s an easy-to-learn skill that can greatly improve your life. Strong speaking skills will enhance your career, education and relationships — almost every aspect of your life. So why do many people never learn? Because they don’t know where to …
Technology allows us to communicate faster, more frequently, and to a wider audience. But who’s listening? The more we communicate, the harder it is to listen well—to focus on one person and their words. This is where self-control comes in. Being able to pause yourself and focus on the speaker and improves your understanding but …
I was the wittiest teacher in town until that day. Mid-joke, I suddenly realized that my students laugh because I control their grades. Damn. I shut my mouth and got serious about my job. Which isn’t to say I’m solemn now—keeping things light helps learning, and personal anecdotes add depth to speeches. But my job is to …
Sometimes it seems that all teens do is communicate—text, social media, facetime. But when adults try to talk to teens, both sides often end up frustrated, annoyed or bewildered. How can we bridge this gap? First, Understand your Audience Consider what it is to be teenaged. Teens are in transition between childhood and adulthood. They …
Ahh the power of words: to inspire, teach and offend. Nothing beats the precision of a well-placed profanity, but swearing is like hot sauce—a little goes a long way. I hate hearing kids curse. Although it’s a natural part of their development, swearing is a harsh reminder of lost innocence, especially when it’s your own kid. I …
Sitting in a coffee shop listening to two women talk over each other, I am reminded of that apt analogy of two TVs, both turned on and facing each other. Lots of words but little communication. We’re all guilty sometimes of talking at rather than to our listener; of delivering monologues instead of mutually exploring …
Committed complaining: have you heard of it? The idea is that we complain in two ways: committed or uncommitted to fixing the problem. Sometimes we’re just grousing: I’m cold, my office is cold, I hate working here, my boss is a nightmare… Uncommitted complaining begins and ends with the complaint. You don’t like something but …
Communicating with two-year-olds can be frustrating. They’re passionate, stubborn and likely to bite. But it doesn’t have to be this way—spending time with toddlers can be fun! Yes, really. Toddlers are amazing—they’re still connected to their magic, and look at the world in a way we’ve forgotten. They have lots to say and can be …
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh– Moo! Are you an interrupting cow? How often do you allow a pause after someone’s finished speaking? Be honest, how often do you let people finish speaking? Interrupting is such a deeply ingrained habit for some that we don’t even notice when we do it. Kicking that habit …
There’s a great acronym that makes me look smart and wise. It’s WAIT, and stands for Why Am I Talking? What a brilliant question to ask yourself. You might decide not to speak if your answer is any of the following: Gossip Is the “news” you’re sharing about someone else just veiled gossip? Even if it …
This post will help you talk clearly and kindly to the kids in your life. You’ll learn how to stay calm and retain authority while having wonderful relationships with magical and miraculous creatures. Keep it Short With kids you have up to 18 words. After 18 they lose interest and your voice becomes only so much …
My heart broke as I watched a young dad yelling at his crying two-year-old. I wanted to swoop in, rescue the kid, and teach the dad how big and scary he was. The dad was obviously frustrated beyond belief, but yelling wasn’t a great choice. I too have felt that level of frustration, in my …
Cleaning some research files, I stumble across this evocative statement: The Social model of disability …the general term disability is applied not because of an inability to function but rather because of an innate inability to operate by modern society’s standards… For example in a pre-literate society, someone with Dyslexia would have no problem functioning and …
A famous teacher and community leader (Thich Nhat Hanh) gives instructions framed as “You might like to…” What a transformative concept. Saying “You might like to” instead of “You must” is refreshingly respectful and helpful. It’s not telling us what to do. It’s trusting us to find our own answers. As teachers and leaders we might …
