“I’m not scared of public speaking, it’s doing it in front of people that terrifies me.” (One of my students) I teach public speaking and coach people on developing confidence. Public speaking is mostly about developing the confidence to stand in front of a group, which terrifies us because we’re biologically wired to run away …
What would you do if you had more confidence? Imagine being able to improve your life, career… and maybe even the world. How, you ask? You don’t need superheroes or superpowers — just confidence. Confidence helps us: Learn and make positive changes Face challenges and create impact Improve our career, relationships and health (mental and …
You just gave the best performance ever. You were calm, confident and engaging. The audience loved you! But then you sit down. Flooded with adrenaline, your brain works quickly, evaluating your performance—your dreadful, awful performance. In high resolution, your brain replays the errors, the omissions, the failures. Moments ago you were proud, now you’re embarrassed. …
Have you ever wondered how to give strong, confident answers to unexpected questions? Speaking without preparation is called impromptu speaking. We do it in conversations, meetings and interviews. If you don’t know what to say, impromptu speaking can be scary, and an opportunity to embarrass yourself. But don’t panic! Just use the BRACE method to …
Most of us fear public speaking more than we fear death. Which is ironic because it’s an easy-to-learn skill that can greatly improve your life. Strong speaking skills will enhance your career, education and relationships — almost every aspect of your life. So why do many people never learn? Because they don’t know where to …
No, non, nada, nyet—how we say no in different languages. Nein is the German word for no. Nein sounds the same as the English word nine, which means one less than 10. According to researchers, nine is also the number of times kids expect to ask their parents for something before getting it. Nine. Can …
Most people fear public speaking but it’s surprisingly easy to learn. Follow these tips—and practice 10 times—and you’ll look and sound professional. Good luck! (Learn how to master your Shame Wave too.) 1. Know your audience. Who are you talking to? What do they need and want to know? What do they already know? 2. Accept that …
A young friend introduced me to this simple group game last Saturday. We passed slips of paper around in a circle; one was marked with an L, and the rest with Ws. In this game, players don’t know what’s on their card. After the cards have gone once around the circle, everyone flips over their …
Technology allows us to communicate faster, more frequently, and to a wider audience. But who’s listening? The more we communicate, the harder it is to listen well—to focus on one person and their words. This is where self-control comes in. Being able to pause yourself and focus on the speaker and improves your understanding but …
I was the wittiest teacher in town until that day. Mid-joke, I suddenly realized that my students laugh because I control their grades. Damn. I shut my mouth and got serious about my job. Which isn’t to say I’m solemn now—keeping things light helps learning, and personal anecdotes add depth to speeches. But my job is to …
Sometimes it seems that all teens do is communicate—text, social media, facetime. But when adults try to talk to teens, both sides often end up frustrated, annoyed or bewildered. How can we bridge this gap? First, Understand your Audience Consider what it is to be teenaged. Teens are in transition between childhood and adulthood. They …
We pay more attention when someone speaks directly to us. Salespeople know that, so do good writers, speakers, teachers and leaders. Write Like You Speak, and Speak Directly to Your Audience. Be personal—write or speak directly to your audience, readers, or participants. Although school trained us to be formal and impersonal, it’s better to use direct …
Ahh the power of words: to inspire, teach and offend. Nothing beats the precision of a well-placed profanity, but swearing is like hot sauce—a little goes a long way. I hate hearing kids curse. Although it’s a natural part of their development, swearing is a harsh reminder of lost innocence, especially when it’s your own kid. I …
Clear, precise language in email subject lines increase the chance that people will read and respond to your message. Specific subject lines help readers understand: What you want If they can help you—was this sent to the right person; do they have an answer? What priority to give your message—how important and time-sensitive is this? How …
Precise language is efficient and effective. Here are 3 ways to be more precise: 1. Avoid Adjectives and try not to use words like very and really. Use strong, clear words verbs and nouns instead. For example: I was livid is shorter and stronger than I was really mad. It’s a 7-day walk is more precise than It’s …
Empathy is a cornerstone of relationships. When we speak and listen with empathy others feel heard and respected, relationships improve, and we positively influence others. Self-test: Do you speak and listen with empathy? When talking: Do your words add to your listener’s life—are you giving them a gift, or dumping emotional waste? Are your words constructive …
Sitting in a coffee shop listening to two women talk over each other, I am reminded of that apt analogy of two TVs, both turned on and facing each other. Lots of words but little communication. We’re all guilty sometimes of talking at rather than to our listener; of delivering monologues instead of mutually exploring …
Committed complaining: have you heard of it? The idea is that we complain in two ways: committed or uncommitted to fixing the problem. Sometimes we’re just grousing: I’m cold, my office is cold, I hate working here, my boss is a nightmare… Uncommitted complaining begins and ends with the complaint. You don’t like something but …
Communicating with two-year-olds can be frustrating. They’re passionate, stubborn and likely to bite. But it doesn’t have to be this way—spending time with toddlers can be fun! Yes, really. Toddlers are amazing—they’re still connected to their magic, and look at the world in a way we’ve forgotten. They have lots to say and can be …
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh– Moo! Are you an interrupting cow? How often do you allow a pause after someone’s finished speaking? Be honest, how often do you let people finish speaking? Interrupting is such a deeply ingrained habit for some that we don’t even notice when we do it. Kicking that habit …
