Speaking and Presenting: Surfing the Shame Wave

You just gave the best presentation ever. You were calm, confident and engaging. The audience loved you! But then you sit down. Flooded with adrenaline, your brain works quickly, evaluating your performance—your dreadful, awful performance. In high resolution, your brain replays the errors, the omissions, that joke nobody laughed at. Moments ago you were...

Conversation Skills: Are you sharing or monopolizing?

Sitting in a coffee shop listening to two women talk over each other, I am reminded of that apt analogy of two TVs, both turned on and facing each other. Lots of words but little communication. We’re all guilty sometimes of talking at rather than to our listener; of delivering monologues instead of mutually...

Complaining: Committed vs Uncommitted

Committed complaining: have you heard of it? The idea is that we complain in two ways: committed or uncommitted to fixing the problem. Sometimes we’re just grousing: I’m cold, my office is cold, I hate working here, my boss is a nightmare… Uncommitted complaining begins and ends with the complaint. You don’t like something...

4 Wrong Reasons to Communicate

There’s a great acronym that makes me look smart and wise. It’s WAIT, and stands for Why Am I Talking? What a brilliant question to ask yourself! You might decide not to speak if your answer is any of the following: Gossip Is the “news” you’re sharing about someone else just veiled gossip? Even if it...

Change Your Words, Change Your Worldview

Cleaning some research files, I stumble across this evocative statement: The Social model of disability …the general term disability is applied not because of an inability to function but rather because of an innate inability to operate by modern society’s standards… For example in a pre-literate society, someone with Dyslexia would have no problem functioning...

You Might Like To…

A famous teacher and community leader (Thich Nhat Hanh) gives instructions framed as “You might like to…” What a transformative concept. Saying “You might like to” instead of “You must” is refreshingly respectful and helpful. It’s not telling us what to do. It’s trusting us to find our own answers. As teachers and leaders we...

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